it’s a horrible feeling to discover xenophobia in your own “family”. and how to react? never ever talk to the bf of my mum again? I’m devastated, very angry, disappointed, furious, very sad… speechless.


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14 thoughts on “speechless

  1. Sad, huh? Even in our current time some of these things never seem to go away. Do you think it is more because of his region or his religious beliefs?

    Well, you can’t sometimes help for whom you fall for. You have to do what is best for you.

    • we didn’t particularly speak about my bf, but I didn’t know until yesterday, that he thinks like “black people in general are criminal and benefit scroungers” – it’s heart-breaking… and there is no chance to talk it out on a healthy level ;(

      and I don’t know how to deal with my feelings at the moment – I don’t know how to calm down…

  2. I hate when you type a good reply and then hit some button and it disappears!

    Ok…second try!

    Well, I am glad he did not single out your boyfriend in particular so that is a good start. As for the comments about “black people”, I am happy that I traveled a lot and also manage a cleaning sector in a resort. I hear a lot of stories of people who were managers and doing well and had to down grade to some to the U.S. So they are in a poor state because now they are cleaning offices.

    Also, when people arrive to Europe or the U.S. from Africa or South America, they are coming with a different system of values. In some countries there are no yards with sculptured hedges and they throw their garbage into a ditch. They don’t put them into a class telling them that they are now to start painting their home and taking care of things. It does not make them criminals…just not aligned to our culture.

    Well, just keep on and maybe someday if they met your boyfriend, they will realize that he is a decent guy.

    • thank you so much for typing again! :) yeah, I hope everything will be alright – it’s just too much for me at the moment. and I’m afraid I have to learn to deal with it anyway – it wasn’t the first and will not be the last problem for us…

  3. You can’t control their opinions… but you certainly can control how it effects you. It’s your life – and from following this blog – it’s a pretty sweet one. You’re the winner here :)

  4. I’m sorry that you had to discover xenophobia in your own family. I hope sooner or later that will disappear as they grow to learn more about the “other”. Thank you, by the way, for liking my posts. If you’re interested in more updates on my site, please don’t hesitate to follow. Thank you again and I hope everything turns out well for you and your family.



    • thx a lot for your nice post. it’s just so crazy, because I always thought I’m surrounded by open-minded people. well, turned out to be different…

  5. Ouch thats sad. Xenophonbia/Racism is out there everywhere (we Indians make a noise about being targeted but guess what, fairness creams sell like crazy in India!) Lets hope the saner ones will travel and spread love and be optimistic that the world will be free from these evils some day. (Oops I dint mean to sound that philosophical!)
    Any, all the best and I really hope things turn out well for you soon :)

    • yeah, it’s so sad ;( many people didn’t learn a single thing from history :((( thank you and sunshine to you :*

  6. I used to flip arms with an Indian guy I once worked with, usually in the middle of summer when I had blackened skin from the sun and exposure, beat him for colour every time.

  7. Oh that’s rough… I don’t know what you can do other than learn some deep breathing practices for when you have to be around him! Xenophobia is ALWAYS just the result of intellectual inbreeding. People don’t go out enough, they don’t go beyond their comfort zone enough, they don’t consider what it would be like to live in another’s shoes…and it’s the easy (I mean lazy) option to assume everyone is the way they are because of this or that label. I don’t like to promote my blog in comments but I only just blogged on this subject last night if you want more food for thought. Blessings and prayers for a more accepting world! x

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