have you ever felt like not knowing exactly where you belong to? which part of a country or which country at all you want to live in? which way the right one for yourself is? I guess I’m always feeling like that and always thinking about that when I return from a journey…
I have just returned from Istanbul and Israel, the first I spent four days at, the latter I had ten days to discover. far too few, if you ask me. or anybody. but it was long enough to start thinking about my life again. and now I am packing for Indonesia, my next surftrip, starting on saturday. I am really, really looking forward to catch some waves again, being in the line-up, waiting for sets… for me it’s carpe diem at its best there.
but… and that is a really stupid thought perhaps… I am afraid of the returning after three weeks. because I know that it will be hard. hard to be in a rainy country again, without shores. hard to live a 9 to 5 life again. hard to deal with all those tiny problems we use to complain about.
and every time I return, I come up with naive daydreams about going abroad. the question now is: am I allowed to manipulate destiny? or is it the other way round and paths are only created, when I walk them…?